CORE STRENGTH

What do we mean when we say we want to feel more confident? This is an important question to explore for ourselves because I think we often have an idealized idea of what confidence is. We view it as something we have to attain, or that others have and we don’t, or something unattainable for us simply because we experience fear. 

I believe that everyone feels some level of fear and doubt as they push out of their comfort zone. It is quite normal and expected. I was introduced to this idea through the book by Gay Hendricks The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level. In the book he shares the concept that we naturally have an “upper limit problem.” Hendricks tells us that even the most confident people, when faced with a growth opportunity that moves them out of their zone of competence, or excellence, will self-sabotage. Unconscious fears activate the inner critic and give it an opportunity to limit our potential. 

So what is confidence and how can we feel a connection to it for ourselves? I like to think of it as “core strength.” Just like we develop and strengthen our core to support our bodies as they move, we can build internal core strength as well. This foundational, core strength is rooted in self-acceptance and self-trust. That is where true confidence comes from. And from this place we can expand outwards with our desires for ourselves and our art-making. 

When we have a strong inner core, rejection and judgement simply has no place to land. The relationship we have with ourselves will provide us with stability and sustenance, if we simply choose to accept ourselves fully.

This means accepting the shadows, the failings, the brokenness, as well as embracing and honouring our light, our power, and our numerous and wondrous gifts. It means feeding our light more than our darkness, but also leaning in and accepting the natural darkness that all humans have within us. I shared a blog post on this topic called ‘Broken Beauty’ which will offer another way to view and work with this concept.  

Consider the inner critic, the cast of judges that are often moving in and out of your inner space, as companions to be understood, not rejected. Use your discernment and find guidance for yourself through their potential offerings. 

The truth is there is likely a team of inner judges, rather than just one. Some of them are destructive and shut down your creative flow, and some are actually useful as they draw our attention to what needs improving. Using our discernment, we can quiet the noisy complainers and invite dialogue with our inner teachers – asking, how can I learn from you? What are you trying to show me or have me understand?

Perhaps you can even take some time to define the various members of your inner critic team – giving each one of them an identity and a rating of helpfulness. You can then begin to work with them and embody each version of your inner critic, or judges. You can have dialogues between them, and with yourself, and even switch places with them to help you more fully understand what they are bringing to your inner space and dialogue. 

Again, this isn’t about rejecting the inner critic or judges, but rather integrating them and becoming attuned to their roles. This also helps to build that core strength that is needed for confidence and forward movement….and trust. 

One of the things that most artists long for is a direction with their work, a purpose, and a focus that feels authentic.

As we develop in our art-making there is a period of time where we are taking in a great deal – learning, growing and skill building. This is a time when we spend a lot of time looking outside ourselves for inspiration, guidance and ideas about who we are as artists. We take courses, study other artist’s work, maybe even receive mentorship from an artist and learn techniques through consistent practice.

It’s rare that artists know from the get go who they are and the work they are meant to make. It’s discovered through the process of making the work, through engagement. We try things on for size, we move here, go there, and experiment with this and that. All the while receiving valuable information that is guiding us closer and closer to our deepest, most personal work. 

It’s at this time, when we would be considered an emerging artist, that we most need the mindset skills so that we can make the most of this expansive period of growth and learning. Rather than defining ourselves too soon, we trust that we’re on the path to that answer and we remain ever curious, committed and aware. 

Eventually, we start to narrow our focus and dig deeper into areas of interest. This is often described by my mentor, Bill Porteous, as the “research and development” stage of an artist’s evolution, where they are spending longer periods of time dedicated to one area of investigation in their work – seeing what might come of that deeper dive into that area of focus. Again, the mindset skills help us stay committed to the excavations and structure building that we’re doing. We hold fast to ourselves as the uncertainty rises and we confront the possibility that the time we have invested isn't, just yet, the area that we are wanting to commit to. But, all of it is valuable and worthy of our time, and our mindset allows us to remain confident that we’re following the right path, and that we will arrive at a position with our work.

This arriving at a position is what most artists truly long for – to know with conviction what their work is about and what it means for them. Arriving here takes time and commitment and it requires every ounce of our mindset skills to get us there. We trust, we work, we evaluate, we nurture, and we reflect. We have an established practice that we know intimately and we simply show up and begin. We simply do the work that we know we were meant to do. There may still be questions about the work, but there are no longer any questions about why we’re making our art. That is a certainty and is now fully integrated into our lives and routines. 

And, it is not a limited place, but a place of infinite potential. From this place you make new work from your own work, using yourself as a source of inspiration and development. Building on what has come before. You are now able to keep space for yourself, working without feedback or influence. You’re self-generating and engaged in your own adventure of discovery as you ask, what else is possible here?

This quote I came across seems to speak to this place with our work:

“A person entranced by wonder is pulled out of the normal voice-in-your-head self-absorption and awed by something greater than oneself. There’s a feeling of radical openness, curiosity and reverence. There’s an instant freshness of perception, a desire to approach and affiliate.”

I think this describes that place we can occupy when we’re making our work for the sake of making the art itself – for the wondrous experience that it is. When the inner voices no longer concern us and we simply make our work to experience the reverence of the creative process. We are awed by the connection, and all that matters is that connection – not “is this good enough?” or “am I good enough?”

We have a kind of confidence that is sustainable simply because it is sourced from within and joins with something greater than ourselves. This is truly “self” confidence.

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