HOW SELF COMPASSION IMPROVES OUR ART
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Self compassion is the practice of turning the warmth and light of our compassion towards ourselves. But as lovely as that sounds, many of us don’t practice this in our daily lives, and as a result when we attempt to make our art we front load and infuse our practice with critical thoughts and expectations.
The weight of this type of self-criticism can be utterly soul crushing, as we are disregarding our basic human needs in these moments.
Self-compassion is the act of recognizing and honouring this aspect of our common humanity – we all suffer and we all want to feel seen and supported in our suffering.
Art simply can’t be made when we’re disconnected from ourselves in this way. We may attempt to make our work through disciplined practice and self-imposed deadlines, but there will be so much struggle in the process that the work will reflect that struggle rather than the essence of ourselves that we’re truly after.
Without self-compassion guiding the way, we react as if something has gone terribly wrong when we make mistakes or fail. We feel deflated and as if this shouldn't be happening to us. Frustration, disappointment, and isolation become our dominant feelings.
When we can offer ourselves self-compassion, we are able to meet failure much differently. It's not met with “poor me,” it's met with “well, everyone fails.” It just becomes natural and normal, as we simply accept the truth that everyone struggles. This is what it means to be human, and that understanding radically alters how we relate to failure and difficulty in life and in our art practice.
In order to have self-compassion, we have to be willing to turn toward, and acknowledge our suffering. Typically, we don't want to do that. We’d rather avoid it at all costs, not think about it, and go straight into problem-solving our way out of it. As much as suffering is a part of our humanness, so is our need to protect ourselves.
While art-making presents us with innumerable problems to be solved, the creative process requires us to explore, experiment, and even fail as we attempt to make our work stronger and more akin to our vision for it.
Meeting our art-practice, and ourselves, with self-criticism and weighty pressures only leads us away from what we truly desire. By beginning to meet our perfectly imperfect selves with compassion and curiosity we flip the script and meet our most basic human need. From there we have a solid foundation to work from – no matter the outcome.
How do you typically meet moments of struggle, confusion, and failure?
If you’re being truly honest, how do you typically treat yourself? What do you say to yourself when you make a mistake or miss meeting an obligation?
When you listen to the words you say to yourself, how do those words make you feel?
How might you change the way you speak to yourself?
What would you have to tell yourself in order for you to meet yourself with kindness and compassion?
This short version blog post is a part of my Mindset Moment series, an accompanying edition to my bi-monthly blog post. My intention for these Mindset Moments is to speak to some of the common challenges artists face with their creative work, and how a mindset shift can make a difference.
They are short reads, with a suggestion or writing prompt that you can work with…as well as an invitation to join in the conversation, sharing your experience and insights.
You can join the conversation by leaving a comment under this blog post, or on my social media posts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, wherever you find me.
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