SAYING YES TO OURSELVES

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” -Paulo Coelho

I often recognize myself in the clients I work with...they are always great teachers for me. And when I can help them step forward more fully into their creative life, it's such a beautiful thing to witness and it gives me such joy.

It also empowers me to continue to do my own work and check in with myself about what I am saying ‘yes’ to and why.

Being a person who often put others’ needs before my own, I understand how challenging it can be to balance the conflict between what we desire for ourselves, and our art, and the feelings of obligation to say ‘yes’ to everything that is asking something of us.

Our energy for our art-making can get zapped quickly when we give too much of it away. We need to be in touch with our motivations for saying yes to others, so that when we do say yes it comes from a place of choice and not from a need to please.

And it can be tricky to sort out. We have obligations that we need to attend to, of course, and we want to be able to offer our support to those we love and care about. So often it is about finding balance in it all. And when we can’t say no, accepting what is and trusting that our choice is what is necessary at this time.

For me, finding ways - even the tiniest of ways - to stay connected to my creative energy really helps when I have to say yes to a commitment that may take me away from my studio time.

Through writing, quick sketchbook explorations, and looking at art that inspires me, I keep the threads of connection in place and I can more easily re-engage with my art-making when the time and space is available once again.

Our art will welcome us back no matter how long we may have been away from it...it patiently waits, like a secret lover who knows the value of delayed gratification.

One of the most important understandings that has really helped me, is that the energy I am holding around the choices I am making is crucial. When I say yes, it needs to come from that place of choice-fulness and I let go of any of the negative self talk that might be percolating up around it.

Feelings of overwhelm, resentment or loss and grief often come up when I’m saying yes when I needed to say no.

Taking time to really check in with myself about my truth before I respond to a request really helps me to be more clear. Can I make the choice with an energy that supports me, rather than depletes me?

As a reformed people-pleaser myself (still working on that one!) I thought this article from Tiny Buddha offered some great advice for how to align with your truth and support your needs, bringing you back to a place of choice.

You deserve to give yourself back to yourself, and your art. These tips might help you to find more solace in the process of saying no, when in your heart you know it is the right thing to do.